Time to cry


Time to Cry

Look, I don’t know how it started—but somewhere along the way, God began helping me heal by giving me permission to cry.

Weird, right? Yep, 100% weird. And it took me a while to recognize what was happening. No matter what kind of day I was having—good, bad, or in-between—there would come this overwhelming need to cry.

Maybe it’s because for so many years, I couldn’t cry. I was stuck in survival mode, buried in chaos and constant upheaval. Crying wasn’t an option. I didn’t have the time, and I definitely didn’t want to face whatever was underneath the surface. So I shut down emotionally.

Except for anger. That one snuck past the shutdown and came out at the worst possible moments. And because I hadn’t allowed God to heal me, I said things in those moments—things I wish I could take back. Words I regret speaking to my kids, my husband... really, to everyone.

So when God began inviting me into healing—through crying, no less—it felt strange. I didn’t like it at first. These weren’t gentle tears. These were big, ugly, snotty cries. The kind that leave you puffy-eyed and exhausted, but somehow, afterward... you sleep like a baby for the first time in months.

It took several rounds of those deep cries for me to realize God was doing something powerful. He was healing me from the inside out.

Now I’m learning to lean in. When the heaviness hits, I pause. I talk to Abba about what’s going on in my heart. I cry. And I heal.

Would I rather God just zap my soul happy and call it done? Of course. But for whatever reason, this is the path He’s using in this season. Seasons change—and I’m sure this one will too. (I think... lol)

So, if you see me having a hard day, don’t worry. It’s probably not about something that just happened. I’m just answering the call to heal.

It’s work—hard work—but I want to be the best version of myself so I can carry the mantle He’s given me with grace and authority. That means dealing with my feelings before the enemy can weaponize them against me.

Anyway, I’m off to go heal a little more today.
Have a beautiful day, y’all!

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