Heaven’s Blueprint

Life Cycles: My Two Cents A lot of times in life, we label things based on natural—or supposedly natural—cycles. This is especially true when it comes to female life stages. From the time we're born, by people start attributing behaviors to emotions or hormone levels: pre-puberty, puberty, pre-menopause, menopause, and so on. “She’s hormonal.” “She’s emotional—must be that time of the month.” “She’s going through the change.” “She’s past the change.” We’ve all heard it, and we do it to men too. Men are labeled as going through a “midlife crisis,” and we excuse certain behaviors, even failed marriages, because of it. Either that, or we demonize them for it. But the truth is, a lot of the time, it’s not about hormones—it’s about choices. Our culture loves to find labels and excuses for everything. And yes, this next part might piss some people off, but I’m going to say it anyway: past trauma has become a go-to reason to explain away our problems and justify our choices. Now, before a...

What Do You Do When the Life You Built Was Built on the Wrong Foundation? What do you do when you realize that a decision you made many years ago—one you thought was the best decision of your life—was made for the wrong reasons? What happens when you look back and see that every choice you made afterward was built on a false foundation? Do you throw it all away? Beat yourself up over it? What do you do? The truth is, people find themselves in these situations every day. It could be a relationship. It could be a career. It could be a financial commitment. Because here’s the thing about life: we change. We grow. We evolve. And that’s not a bad thing—it’s a  good  thing. Growth is necessary. Change is necessary. Evolution is part of being alive. But sometimes, the people who were once close to us—whether personally or professionally—don’t see that growth as a positive. They may resent it. And when you finally stop and reflect, you may realize something painful: as you grew and ch...

Rest Isn't Optional So many times in life, we just keep going—faster, harder, longer—without ever stopping to ask ourselves why. We run ourselves into the ground, convinced it’s for a good reason. We do it to help others. We do it to put everyone else first. We do it to stay ahead of the bills, ahead of the laundry, ahead of… whatever. But the truth is, all we’re really doing is running ourselves down. We slap on a bit of false humility and say things like,  “I can’t stop—I have responsibilities.”   “I’ve got bills to pay.”   “I’ve got things to do.”  But what’s often underneath that is fear. Fear that if we stop, we won’t be able to start again. At least, that’s what it was for me. I was afraid that if I stopped, everything would fall apart—because I was the one spinning all the plates. But here’s the thing: The only thing I was doing in those relentless seasons was draining my health, little by little, until it led to serious consequences—autoimmune issues, and eve...

53: The Year of Me Sounds really selfish, right? Like—how can I put  myself  at the top of the food chain? Don’t I care about my husband, my kids, my grandbabies? Here’s my answer: If I  don’t  put myself first—if I’m not at the top of my own priority list—then I’m not really caring for them at all. I’ve spent over 30 years caring for everyone else first. That’s what was modeled to me as a kid. My mom never put herself first, and she spent a lot of her life unhappy and miserable. Now, she was a great woman—an incredible nurse and an amazing friend—but she put everything and everyone ahead of herself. And in the end, when it was just her, she had to work really hard to find her own happiness. You’d think I would’ve learned from that. But instead, I absorbed what she  did , not what she said. I guess that’s proof that more is  caught  than  taught . And honestly, it wasn’t until I started watching my own kids making the same mistakes I made that I r...

Don’t Throw the Baby Out with the Bath Water We’ve faced many challenging seasons in our lives—some that, honestly, would’ve made most people throw in the towel. Over the years, I’ve heard the whispers (and sometimes the not-so-silent judgments):  “Why not just divorce?”  But it’s never that simple. See, I don’t believe people are inherently bad. I believe we all carry trauma, baggage, and pain. And when we ignore it—or build walls around it—we can become toxic, even without meaning to. About six years ago, we separated. During that time, I had the opportunity to work on  me  in a whole new way. But then—yes, by God’s grace—we found our way back to each other. And it was different. We had a new level of appreciation for one another. Our communication was stronger. We were softer, more intentional. We even experienced healing moments with our kids—those who were ready. Because let’s be honest: staying together through the hard seasons creates challenges for your child...

Shame – The Silent Killer “Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.” —  Isaiah 61:7 Reflection Shame doesn’t always announce itself loudly. Sometimes, it creeps in quietly — hiding in the shadows of your story, tucking itself away in the memories you’ve long tried to forget. For me, it came rushing back on a random evening. My husband was watching a CSI episode, and I happened to wake up as the story unfolded. The plot involved a man in a position of authority… someone who offered help… but instead assaulted. And suddenly, the show on screen became a mirror to a memory I had buried for decades. Over 40 years earlier — I was a little girl in the fourth grade. Hurting. Confused. Afraid. My parents had divorced. I had been assaulted by neighbors. And my mother, desperate to help, sent me to a therapist. Someone who was ...