Heaven’s Blueprint

  Unmaking My Idols Theme: Fear, Control, and Idolatry It hit me recently—I've made idols out of nearly everything. My kids. My grandkids. Fear. Money. Control. Even the distractions that keep me too busy to pray, too busy to breathe. And here’s the wild part: none of these idols are evil on their own. But I’ve given them power they were never meant to hold. I've let fear run my finances. I've let the chaos of other people’s choices determine my peace. And I’ve made decisions out of desperation, not obedience. God is slowly untangling all of that. Calling me back. Convicting me—but gently. He’s not angry. He’s just waiting for me to let go. 🕊️ Scripture Meditation: “You shall have no other gods before me.” — Exodus 20:3 Reflect: What has quietly become an idol in your life? Where do you turn first when you're stressed, afraid, or uncertain? Prayer: God, I give it all back to You. Every idol. Every fear. Every distraction that keeps me from Your presence. I don’t want a...

  Looking for a Savior Theme: Misplaced Expectations I thought love meant rescue. I thought a man could save me. That a kiss and a fairytale would fix all the years of abuse, neglect, and trauma. I wasn’t looking for a husband back then—I was looking for someone to come in, sweep me up, and make everything better. But that kind of weight isn’t meant for any human to carry. When you marry a dream, eventually you have to face the real person. And when you’ve made someone your savior, you’re setting them up to fail. That’s what I did. And when he didn’t meet my expectations, I got angry. Disappointed. Resentful. Because deep down, I had built my hope on sand instead of the Rock. I’m learning now to let God heal the little girl who wanted to be rescued. To stop expecting redemption from broken people. And to receive it straight from the One who was always there. 🕊️ Scripture Meditation: “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man.” — Psalm 118:8 Reflect: Where have y...

  The Enemy’s Playground Theme: Justification & Toxic Cycles There’s something really twisted about how we learn to justify pain. Not just to others, but in our own heads. I spent years justifying dysfunction—calling it love, calling it loyalty, calling it “just the way things are.” But deep down, I knew better. When you live with toxic patterns long enough, you start to become what you hate. Not out of malice, but out of survival. I didn’t know how to do better back then. I didn’t know how to break cycles, only how to survive them. And the enemy had a field day in my mind, feeding me lies that said, “This is normal,” “This is your fault,” or “This is all you’ll ever have.” But God has been teaching me: survival isn’t the same as healing. Excusing trauma doesn’t redeem it. And staying silent doesn’t equal peace. 🕊️ Scripture Meditation: “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; who can know it?” — Jeremiah 17:9 Reflect: Where have you justified dysfuncti...

Cutting the Apron Strings With all my kids well over 18, you would think I’d have made the full transition from everyday parent to trusted advisor by now—just sitting back and enjoying watching them grow their own families. But somehow, the threads of toxicity and codependency that I wrestled with throughout their childhood quietly bled into their adult years. Their dad and I went through some deeply toxic seasons, and unfortunately, our kids grew up in the wake of that trauma and drama. So, when they moved out, I think part of me was trying to make up for what they had endured. Truthfully, I was also afraid—afraid to let go, afraid they might fall and I wouldn’t be there to catch them… and maybe even more afraid they would fly and not come back to the nest. With the older two, I’ve managed to cultivate fairly healthy relationships over the past few years. But this year, the “baby” (as I still call him, lovingly) made some choices that have been hard for me to understand, much less acc...

🌿  Transformation A Devotional Poem by Dawn Hill On the day I was born, I had no way to know The depth of the path You would ask me to go. Years passed in shadows, in chaos and pain, But still, You stood by me, again and again. You held me. You hid me. You nurtured my soul. When life tried to break me, You made me whole. I felt You near, though my world was unclear— Your whisper was steady, "Beloved, I'm here." In the still of the night, when sorrow would rise, I’d feel Your embrace and know You were wise. Though harm was intended, and fear tried to reign, You turned every scar into purpose and gain. Now slowly I see what You've molded from clay— A daughter restored in a holy new way. In Your image I stand, both fragile and bold, A story of grace that’s starting to unfold. Transformation has fire, and it often has tears, But it's breaking the chains I wore for years. The path to the true me—the one You designed— Is paved with surrender, and shaped by Your time. S...

  Day 10 – Restriction Brings Freedom “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” —  John 8:36 (NIV) Restriction. Discipline. Surrender. Submission. All of these sound like limitations. And according to the world, they are. But in the Kingdom of God? They are the  path to freedom. It feels backward, doesn’t it? That the more you surrender, the freer you become. That restriction—living within God’s boundaries—leads to breakthrough, peace, and joy. The world teaches the opposite. “Do what you want.” “Feel what you feel.” “No one can tell you what to do.” “Live your truth.” But that way of living leads to chaos, confusion, and ultimately, death. True freedom doesn’t come from doing whatever you want—it comes from living the way  God  designed you to live. And that kind of life? It starts with surrendering to Jesus. There  is  a manual for life, no matter what anyone says. The Word of God is ancient and eternal. It speaks into marriage, parenti...

  Distraction Distraction comes in many forms. The enemy will use every single one to try and get you off track—off your goals, your healing, and especially your calling. But nothing silences the dark side more than a focused, prayers-up, blinders-on believer. The kind who can dodge fireballs from every direction without wavering in faith or losing sight of the vision God gave them. This past week—and honestly, the few before it—have felt like a full-on attack. Life has thrown curveball after curveball. From kids hurling emotional grenades straight at my mom heart… To a spouse whose words cut deep, reminding me that things “don’t just fall from the sky,” and that my dreams are “ridiculous,” basically. Even the dog—one day limping like the end is near, the next acting like nothing ever happened. Distraction, y’all. And it usually comes through the people and things closest to our hearts. That’s what makes it hit so hard. That’s what knocks the wind out of our sails. So, how did I do...

  The Mental Struggle Week 4 of Boot Camp | Week 2 of 90-Day Reset So here we are—week four of Boot Camp and week two of this 90-day push I’ve committed to for myself. And strangely, it feels harder now than when I started. Why is that? I’ve had to fight for every part of this—my food choices, my morning workouts, even just getting out of bed with intention. But the real fight hasn’t been in my body; it’s been in my mind. Yesterday, I sat with that tension for a while and asked myself,  Why is it such a struggle on day 17? And here’s what I uncovered: At the beginning, I had the spark—excitement, fresh motivation, that little burst of energy you get when you start something new. Then I had momentum. I felt proud of myself for sticking with it. But now… now I’m hitting the part where the old me wants to resurface. That sneaky voice that whispers,  It’s your birthday week—you deserve a break.  Or,  Anniversary is coming—just skip today.  A hundred little excu...

  Last night, something beautiful happened. I couldn’t sleep—not from worry or noise, but from this strange dryness in my soul. It was like I needed something deeper than rest. I walked into the living room intending to journal or maybe just sit quietly for a bit. But what I really needed was worship. So I turned on an old gospel hymn—one of those deep, soul-stirring songs that took me right back to childhood and those old-school churches I grew up in. As it played, I felt something shift. I started singing softly, then louder. Before I knew it, I was worshipping with my whole heart. Tears came—not of sadness, but of gratitude. It was like joy and hope, those familiar old friends, gently broke through the surface again. My heart felt lighter. My soul felt full. And for that hour, it was just me and the Lord. No distractions. Just a sacred exchange of worship and refreshing. I went to bed with peace. But then morning came. I stepped out of routine to enjoy some time with friends at ...

  Rest Rest and sleep are not the same. I know this because I used sleep as an escape from the time I was a little girl. When things got crazy or I was facing abuse or the aftermath of trauma—I slept. Truth is, I actually love laying in bed and sleeping. It probably started because it felt like my only safe space as a child. I could escape my parents arguing, and no one bothered me when I was in my room. As I got older, I began to use sleep as a vice. Every chance I got, I slept—mostly to avoid the world around me. I slept out of fear. But the entire time, I was never truly rested. It wasn’t until many years later that I learned: sleep and rest are not the same thing. Rest is something we experience both naturally and spiritually—with God. Rest is surrender. It’s letting go of burdens and casting all our cares upon Him. It’s something deep… soul deep. Most people are running on chaos and caffeine, having never truly experienced rest. The old saying,  “I’ll rest when I’m dead,”...

Well, that escalated quickly. We are officially in a financial hole, and at this point, only God can get us out. We’ve done the diligent work to get out of debt—but we haven’t built stability. That “one paycheck away from broke” warning? It’s real. And today, it hit home. This morning we found out that Scott’s entire paycheck for the week was used to cover medical expenses. The  entire check. And of course, this is the week when all the major bills are set to come out. Now we’re sitting here with nothing to cover them. So, now what? Well—I could beat myself up for not preparing better. But the truth is, we  have  been preparing. More than ever. And yet here we are, between a rock and a hard place. Now, I’ll be honest: the temptation to run back to old comforts like food or distraction is real. But guess what? I just started a 90-day focus on my health and healing this week. Can you say the stupid slimeball enemy just  overplayed his hand ? If the goal of this chaos w...

  Persistence So as I’m walking out healing and stretching into that next level of growth, it’s taking more out of me than I expected. And honestly? That’s okay. A few months ago, I had a sudden spike in my blood pressure. Now, if you know my story, you know I watch it like a hawk—especially since I had a stroke at age 39. I could feel something was off, so I went to the ER. It was indeed high, and they admitted me for observation and control. No signs of a stroke on paper… but looking back, I suspect I may have had a minor TIA. No blame. Just discernment. Not long after that, I lost partial use of my right hand. Strange, I know. The doctor believed it was a nerve in my elbow causing the numbness, and maybe it was. But when you have to re-learn how to use your dominant hand—rebuild strength, reteach your brain, and still feel numbness in two fingers—you know something significant happened. And yet, here I am, slowly regaining function. It’s been a journey of perseverance and trust....

  Routines Matter As much of a free spirit as I am—I love last-minute road trips, long drives through the countryside, and wandering into small towns to explore nature or hidden little shops—I’ve come to learn that I thrive with a routine. Most of my routines in this season are personal investments. I’ve organized my home to make weekly cleaning easier, and it just  feels better  to live in a clean, peaceful environment. I’ve also started a boot camp. And I know this about myself—if I don’t do it first thing in the morning, it won’t get done. So I’ve set a routine: as soon as I finish my morning meds, it’s time to work out. Non-negotiable. With being a full-time caregiver and still soaking in every moment I can with my grandbabies (a part of my life I absolutely love), I’ve learned I  must  make time for myself while still keeping everything else moving. Between therapy appointments, medications, and doctor visits, it would be easy to just exist and get lost in ...

  It Takes a Village This current season is so amazing… and so hard—all at the same time. I’ve been lifted up by the most incredible women God has placed in my life to help me navigate it all. If I’m honest, I’ve never been great at asking for help. So for God to surround me with such wise, grounded women is nothing short of a blessing. Some are like moms. Some are like sisters. Some are simply trusted friends. But no matter the role, they are all strong women who know—without a doubt—that without God, it’s not going to happen. Period. No matter what the “it” is. So today, I’m grateful. I’m thanking God for each of these women and for the ones He’s still sending. What’s so beautiful is how He knew exactly what I needed long before I did. He’s placed them throughout my journey, and they show up right on time—with wisdom that both convicts and uplifts me. I don’t want to let another year go by where I stay the same. With my birthday just around the corner (the 19th—don’t forget! And ...

  Don’t Wait As I sit here thinking about how much our life changed in just a matter of days last week, I feel overwhelmed. My husband has been battling a foot wound for several months now—still working, still going to doctors. It’s the result of years of poor choices, uncontrolled blood sugars, and his body simply wearing down. Honestly, it’s been scary. For a few weeks, we didn’t even know if he would lose part of his foot. It’s been hard on everyone—him, me, and our kids. I’ve been sad, mad, frustrated, and everything in between. We’ve all tried to encourage him to take better care of himself. But he’s human. And sometimes it takes a major incident to truly understand why we must care for our temples. Well… this is that incident. I love him so much, and the thought of losing him hit me hard. I built a wall to protect myself, thinking maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much. He did something similar. Plus, with all the medications and stress, he's been—let’s just say—extra touchy. His doc...

  Temples As I’ve been surrendering more deeply to God, He’s patiently led me back to square one—and for me, that means health and finances. About two weeks ago, I invested in myself through an online boot camp and committed to giving myself 90 days to get back to the shape I prefer. For me, that means strong enough to move my own body if I’m sick. See, after spending a good part of the last year in bed, I’ve gotten weak. And my goal has always been to be strong enough to take care of myself if something happens. This past year was a real eye-opener—it showed me I wasn’t there yet. Before my injury, I had already let circumstances push me back into old, unhealthy habits with both food and money. For me, those two are so closely intertwined that they feel like one concept. God told me a couple of years ago that my health and wealth were connected, but I’m only now beginning to truly understand what that means. So when I made the investment in myself and committed to taking care of m...